Archive for October, 2009

Election Special

After the election of the Nomads Committee, Thursday 15th October will see what is probably the 2nd most important day in the democratic calendar for the south of the Island. Now normally, as you’ll be aware, the election of a replacement Port Erin Commissioner passes unnoticed – well actually, you probably won’t be aware as it usually passes unnoticed.  However, on this auspicious occasion, one of the candidates happens to be none other than our dear friend and colleague (and “sugar-daddy” if your name’s Tawna), Mr. Nicholas Watterson.  I’ve recently discovered that “Nicholas” is actually his 3rd name, his full birth name being “Conal Carmac Nicholas Watterson”.  Subsequent research tells me that these old traditional Manx names set him aside as being a “love charioteer” – lucky Tawna!

Anyway, the venerable Mr. Watterson* is really standing as a PE Commissioner and I for one think it in the interests of all Nomads, parents, Round Tablers, Sport Eriners, old dears, and indeed anyone who holds any sort of belief that honesty, decency and fairness are admirable qualities, that we get off our apathetic asses, get ourselves down to the Commissioners’ Office on  Thursday the 15th, and slap a big fat cross on Watty’s box.  Don’t worry Tawna, he’ll still be able to dance.  I expect Old Chicken Legs will be around and about over the next week or so to canvass your support, so don’t forget to take advantage of his currently ‘appealing’ nature and fleece him for whatever you can get.  Personally, I’m gonna dress as a baby and get myself a big wet smacker off the old boy.

* Real name John Andrew, but why let the truth get in the way of a good story?

Soap Box Derby

Well, it’s almost that time of year again and we need some volunteers to help out with the Soap Box.  Remember, this is one of the major SPort Erin events and we need support to help with marshalling, starting, finishing and selling tea and cakes.  Please can willing volunteers meet on the PE top prom at 10:00 on Sunday 18th.  Cheers in advance.  Well in advance as it happens as it’s not till July 2010.  Nothing like forward planning to keep us on our toes Mr. Kelly.

This Week’s Fixtures

Sorry for Damo’s cock up last week.  This week’s matches, are absolutely, definitely, almost certainly as follows:

1st vs. Vagas B at Vagas
2nds vs. Ramsey B at KWC

Both kick offs at 14:15 as usual.  Dave Christian is back in the press box this week lads, so get yourself on the score sheet and you might see your name in lights…well, hear it on a crackly wireless receiver anyway.  Can captains (or whoever does it) get the scores phoned in to Dave on 454516 or 682630 by 4:45 pm latest on Saturday.  You can also text updates throughout the afternoon to 454516.  This week’s featured match is Nomads vs. Vagas B so don’t forget your trannies (oo-err missus) and you can listen to a commentary while you watch – or just stand next to Dave and you can be on the commentary.  How cool is that?

Isle of Man Under 19’s Trials

Good luck to all the young ‘uns attending the Isle of Man Rugby Team trials this weekend, especially the Nomads who have been selected to attend, including Jack Cagzie, Dick Seed, Connor Stephens, Greg Danes etc. Sorry if I missed you off, but good luck anyway.  You are the future of Nomads and we’re all behind you…but only if you don’t run off and join that motley Castletown crew Stephens!

Merchandise

Get your name down for any merchandise you need before the end of the weekend, as the order goes in Monday.  Contact Gaff if you fancy swaning round Port Erin in a swanky new top.  Josh, will you contact Gaff anyway….you’re a bloody mess.

Club Equipment on Match Days

Internationally renowned coach, general dogs-body and kit boy Gaff, has the following message for all.  Listen up.

“After Saturday’s game, a large amount of equipment, much of which is new, was left scattered around the pitch as players/spectators left. Doug, Amy and I tidied it away which sadly sticks to a routine of certain people doing a large share of the work at all levels of the club. 3 new match balls were pumped up for the first time and there are now 2. If anyone has one anywhere please return as they are match specific balls at close to £40 a hit. Players who trained this week were informed that it’s everyone’s responsibility to look after our equipment as it belongs to all of us. If you’re down early to a home game, please help where you can. ”

Personally, I was quite astounded that we leave it until match day to blow up new balls for the first time.  What if we’ve got a bad batch and they all fail to inflate to regulation pressure?  Or, what if the only one that does correctly inflate is the one that goes missing?  Rest assured I’ll be bringing it up at Monday’s committee meeting which is at 19:30 at Chez Queers (see what I did there Widge?).  I’ll also be mentioning it to the Love Charioteer at his first surgery, and if I still don’t get action, I shall lobby my MHK until this matter is given the attention it deserves, and this ridiculous state of affairs is resolved to my satisfaction and to the satisfaction of all other concerned supporters and players who appreciate the importance of timely inflations.  Ludicrous!

Mhelliah

And talking of ludicrous, Tom de C seems to have found his bloody phone again.  Can someone suggest a better hiding place?  However, he did have worthy news on this occasion.  Thirsty, get your wallet out for I smell a fish and it’s not down Paddy’s trousers. Yes, it’s Mhelliah time again.  Kerry has her cream pie ready and Neal’s marrow is swelling in anticipation (have I gone too far this time Ange?  Ouch! Looks like that’s an ‘affirmative’).

This year’s money pit take’s place at Chez Queers on 24th October at 19:00, but I always find that a few early beers eases the pain of separation from my hard-earned.  Tom is on the scrounge for donations for the auction, so give him a call in 401950 and he’ll take collection of your contributions.  Remember this is our number one fund raiser, so please dig deep for auction items in advance, and even deeper on the night.  We have the Island’s premier auctioneers on hand, and if they don’t turn up, Catty, Cainer and Fish have promised to stand in.  It’s always a top night out so please make the effort to attend.

Dates for the Diary

3rd October: Clash of the Titans.  SP’s engagement bash at the Westhall Barn OR post-match frolics at the Bay with Ramsey B on tour.
24th October: MHELLIAH.  Chequers at 19:00.
31st October: Halloween Bash.  It’s getting scarily close and no horrific details have yet been published.  Come on TdC, get your broomstick from up your butt-hole!
12th December: Christmas Ball.  Falcon.