Fixtures

It’s the big opener at KWC this weekend.
Nomads 1^st v Nomads 2^nd.
Have a top game everyone, especially fruit-of-my-loins young Cagzie. 

I believe Tom De C0ck has purloined the beer from last week’s Beach Rugby, and will be taking this down to the match for all to enjoy…so enjoy.
Post-match hospitality is at the Bay PE, with a “Green and White” theme.  This is not an invitation for the Nomads Branded Ass Soc. to display the festering wounds on their lily-white butts!

All: You absolutely MUST have completed a registration form and paid the minimum subs or YOU WILL NOT BE PERMITTED TO PLAY.
Under-18s.  You absolutely MUST have completed a registration form, including the PARENTAL PERMISSION slip or YOU WILL NOT BE PERMITTED TO PLAY.

Yoof

Training commences at Rushen Primary School 11:30-13:00 this Saturday morning.
If you are available to help with the coaching (you don’t need to be qualified), please, please go down and give Parksy a hand.  He’s very old and needs all the help he can get.  We are particularly short this week (especially Cainer who’s lost a heel off his shoe) so it would be very much appreciated.

Recruitment Drive

Our new digital graphics department (S.P.) has worked hard to reveal his artistic bent, and produced a flyer to aid our drive to recruit new players.
Please print off this flyer and display it in your place of work, favourite restaurant and regular drinking hole.  Actually, just stick it by all the building sites as what we need is shovel-handed brickies and hod carriers with shoulders like a grizzly – it’s all the smart-ass students buggering off to Uni which screws us up every year!

New Season Offers

Gaff-the-Gear has some Nomads Polo shirts for sales at the very reasonable price of £18.  See Gaff to pick up your bargain.

Hospice Help

The Hospice is holding its 1st Midnight Walk for ladies of all ages on Saturday, 18th September.  The walk will start at Onchan Head, Royal Skandia building and will cover approx 5 miles going along the Promenade, along Peel Road and finishing up at the Hospice HQ in Strang.  The Walk will start at 10.30pm and should finish at approx 12 midnight.  All participants have been asked to dress in Pink.

They URGENTLY need 10 good humoured, strong, able bodied men to act as Marshalls at a number of points throughout the course i.e. McDonalds (outside); Quarterbridge (to ensure everyone goes the right way!) and the Oak Tree at Braddan Bridge (nearly home!).

SPort Erin have been asked to help out and the Hospice will give you a cup of tea afterwards.  If you are available, please contact our volunteer coordinator, Julie on 455005.
Many thanks.

Dates for the Diary

28^th September: Great South Run.  PE.  Volunteers required to help with marshalling.  Call Julie on 455005.
Tbc October: Mhelliah.  Chez Queers PE.
11th December: Christmas Dinner. Falcon’s Nest.
26^th December: Inaugural Boxing Day game.  Details to follow.

Pitch

Just a reminder (or for the first time if you’ve not bothered to turn up to training yet) that the fixtures for this weekend are  First Team at Douglas for a round robin with Douglas & Vagabonds 2nd teams .
The second team are at Poulsom Park for a 1.30 kick off against Castletown and Ramsey B round robin games.
As always at this time of year, the trains are still running so don’t park at Castletown railway station or the Fat Controller will get mighty upset and park his train under the sticks!  You have been warned!

Pebble Dash

If I’d bothered to write anything about the Beach Rugby last year, I’d just have nicked the  text and pasted it into this week’s ‘No Date’.

I wasn’t actually there to watch, but I believe the highlight of the day was collecting pebbles off the pitch because The Castletown Choral Society didn’t manage to drum up enough support for their own event to do that themselves.  Never mind, we went home with the beer in the end. What? We won the Beach Rugby?  Well… not exactly!  Like my favourite episode of Scooby Doo, we would have pulled it off if it weren’t for them pesky kids.  Oh dear, for a second year running, they pipped us at the post.  Fortunately for us, this year’s contingent of forged ID card holders, hastily thrown together by the ever-youthful Wagga, included a couple of our own yoofs who are now eligible to play in the Seniors this season.  So if you’re into silver linings, there it is.

Putty

So why didn’t I get to watch young Cagzie and the boys romping to victory?  Well, because I was  keeping up my own end of the Team Cagzie winning tradition, leading my’ bitches’ to victory in the Nomads Annual Golf day of course.  And what a marvellous day it was, despite old Chicken Legs bailing out at the last minute to do something sordid (I’m speculating at this point) with Tawna.  Never mind, Cofty Wofty (a much less sordid man) stepped into the breach and made us all feel very welcome, especially Wig (who’s not at all sordid), who was rewarded for his long journey south with 2 meals for 2 and probably a bit of a hangover.

Many thanks to the prize sponsors who I believe were Tower Insurance and our ever-generous primary sponsor for the 2010-11 season, PDMS.  I will think of you as I sip my bottle of Taittinger.

A Good Rodding

Nomads Fishing.   This Friday.  12 spaces available.   Get your name down.  Pass the word on.
There’s a boat leaving PSM quay at 17:30 (come-overs need not get offended) and this will likely be followed some extremely pungent pints in the Albert afterwards.
You need to contact Cap’n Crofty on 495930 to ensure you get your rod space reserved.

Building Regulations

The next bit only applies to the following people – these are those who voluntarily give up time throughout the season to ensure that we have a pipeline of young talent coming through to replace the knackered old cart horses who hobble off to the glue factory during the off-season, never to be seen again, except for 10 minutes on tour so they can go to the Players Dinner!

Cush,  Parksy,  Gaff,  Spunky,  Anthony Long, Vaughan, Rachael Blackwell, Little Jimmy, Phil (who helps train the yoof) – I assume that’s Dansey?, Justine (who helps train the yoof), Cainer, Kempy, Gingerbeard, SP, Little Cagzie.

Amy’s words:

“Golly Gosh,and a jolly hello to you all.  As part of your current role with Nomads you will need to complete a CRB check, the national system for this has recently changed with new forms being released at the end of July. Due to this change we need to make sure that everyone who needs to be covered by the CRB check has filled in one of the new forms and received their CRB certificate.

I now have copies of the new forms and need to get everyone to fill them in as soon as possible. The filling in of the form involves you filling out all of your details and then me checking and verifying the original documents that you have used for identification. Therefore, I think that the easiest and quickest way to get this done would be for you to either come to my house with your identification documents, we can fill the form out together at that time and check all of the documents without having to pass them backwards and forwards between us. Or if you are going to be at a Nomads game or youth training session then you can let me know, bring the documents, I will make sure that I am there and we can do it then. It should take about 10 minutes to do the form.

I would usually offer to come around to meet people but I am not very mobile at the moment due to a broken Achilles tendon, a large silly boot thing and a pair of crutches!! So I need to ask you to come to me!

The identification documents that you will need are:

• National Insurance Number
• Driving Licence (Paper bit and photo bit)
• Passport
• Utility bill or other similar item that confirms your current address.

If you do not have any of these then we can still do the form but it is better if you do have them.

My address is:
17 Athol Court
Port Erin

If you do not know where I live then give me a call and I will give you some directions, my mobile number is 414206 and home number is 834534 and my e.mail is a.wheeler@ballasalla.sch.im. give me a quick call or text before you come round to make sure that I am in/can whizz the hoover round/remove Doug’s pants from the washing line/put the kettle on  before you get here

PleaseThanks and see you soon for the form filling fun.”

Planning Permission

If anyone is missing from the above list, but has regular contact with our Yoof, or intends to volunteer to help out in the future, then please could you also get in touch with Amy, who is ready and waiting to help you through the CRB vetting process.
Many thanks.

Fixtures & Fittings

Thirsty’s done ‘em, and in record time this year.  If I recall correctly, he didn’t get them out until 31^st August last season, but looking at my inbox, they arrived on the 25^th this year. Very interesting, I’m sure you’ll agree?
What is also interesting is that once again, I’ll be needing my enigma machine to work out what the hell is going on!  And, even more interesting still, they’re all on the website…well, they will be by the end of the weekend…hopefully.

Snag List

11th December : Christmas Dinner.

Flue Maintenance

And that’s yer lot for this week other than to pass on my hearty congratulations to the ‘Row the Rock’ boys: Widge, Damo, Cainer, Mully, Parksy and Stevie G.  They smashed the 1995 world record, completing the 90 mile, non-stop journey in 25 hours and 29 minutes.  By the look of Damo’s face and Cainer’s back-end down the Bay later, they must have spent a good proportion of that time engaged in dubious activities not normally associated with endurance rowing, but we won’t go there hey?

Ta

29^th August at Rowany.  Be there for a 12:45 sign-on.
I’m a method golfer and in order to get into the swing (see what I did there?), I’ve just been out and ‘nastied’ 3 boilers, divorced the missus and paid her $100,000,000 from my vast reserves, so watch out you lot!
Get your last minute entries in to Watty asap please….you know his number 

Hey, Little Jimmy?  Any chance of furnishing us with a couple of volunteers to spot the ‘Hole-In-Ones’?  They won’t have to be too eagle eyed given the quality of the golf, but they do need to be objective and independent, and not easily swayed by a spirited fellow, finely clad in dashing sports casuals.

The rest of you….you don’t need to wait to be asked.  Please contact Watty if you can help us out on 499214.

Beach Rugby

The latest from Mr Dalrumplestiltskin at The Castletown Football Choral Society is that the Beach Rugby is actually on Sunday, and so clashes with Nomads Golf Day.
Meet at 12:30 for a 13:00 first match kick-off.  Note that if you get your entry in by Friday, you money off the entry fee – woooOOOOO!
Further details can be found here: http://www.southernnomads.com/whats-on/beach-rugby-2010
Captains….work your magic.  Mr CarpetMuncher is ready and waiting donate the height of the tallest player in beer as the first prize….but only if you’re over 18…  My advice here Ginger Beard, is not to make up a team of Bov, Cainer, Biscuit Lean, Little Jimmy, Conor, Tom Guy and Watty (who I swear is getting shorter by the minute…must be political pressure).

…And Talking of Which…

Mr Long has asked me to let you know that he has started a beach, touch rugby session for the older Yoof on a Thursday evening, between 6.30 and 7.30 for all Yoof aged 12 and over.  He also needs some coaching / refing assistants, so all very old Yoof are also welcome!

Row the Rock

Our intrepid oarsmen bottled it last week ‘cos it was “a bit windy”, so they might have another look out of the window tomorrow, and as long as it’s not spitting a bit, might risk an outing.
What this does mean, is that it’s not too late to pay to have them exposed to the elements for just under 27 hours in an open boat.  Do feel free to sponsor them here: http://www.justgiving.com/rowtherock
I’m sure Damo’s experience will be further enhanced by the big fat blisters on his ass due to an impromptu hot poker session on Saturday night…

Good luck guys…we’ll all be thinking of you whilst we enjoy this weekend’s BBQ’s, Golf and Beach Rugby.

Midlife Crisis

Looks like Mully’s having one, and has decided he’d rather go fishing than to Twickers.  As a result, the following have become available…

International Tickets – England vs Australia – 13 Nov 2010
4 tickets to this autumn international are up for grabs.
They are £73 each and there’s still time to get cheap flights (plus taxes and airport charges).  If you fancy getting your grubby mits on these, then let Damo know asap on 303312.

Shocking News!

I hear the cheeky chappie with the cow’s eye lashes has taken the plunge and ventured out into the big, wide world, all on his own.
Cute, little Nick Cain is now ‘Nick Cain Electrical’.  How did he come up with such a creative name?
Anyway, the point is, like all good Nomads, he’s offering 10% off his labour charges for Nomads… paid up members only!
He’s using the strap-line “No job too big or small” which is ironic as he needed ladders to put a socket on my skirting board!
You can contact him on 830881 or 224637 (or just type CAINER in your phone!).

…and that isn’t a mandate for every self-employed Nomad to spam me with requests to advertise your own entrepreneurial ventures in ‘No Date’…although I could be persuaded to put a ‘Nomads Cheap Labour’ page on the website, and advertise your ‘Special Offers to Members’ for a £5 donation to Southern Nomads SPort Erin.

Dates for the Diary

29th August : Beach Rugby. Port Erin Beach.
29th August : Nomads Golf Day.
11th December : Christmas Dinner.

Do have a great bank holiday everyone.  I’m now off to put some soothing cream on my butt-segs.

www.rowtherock.org

29^th August at Rowny.

The tee is booked, the prizes are in place…well…some of them… and  old Chicken Legs has negotiated a mammoth discount for non-golf club members (£15) leaving lots more lovely cash for ale and girls.
Please get yourselves up there for 12:45 so that we can have a prompt start, prompt finish, left-hand drive and a prompt beer.
Format is Texas Scramble like last year, so it’s a team game and even crap people get to get a score on the card….splendid news for Crofty. 

Get your last minute entries in to Watty asap please….you know his number.

Beach Rugby

30^th August on PE Beach… Tom? …Tom? …Anymore details Tom?

Row the Rock

Ever wondered what Parksy, PC Cubbon, Widget, Mully, Damo & Cainer might be up to since they were last seen on a rugby pitch?  If, by a miracle, the answer is “yes” then read on!

On Saturday 21st August, they’ll be part of a team attempting to row a Viking longboat around the coast of Isle of Man.  The only time this was completed, it took the team 27 hours so it’s some challenge.  You can read all about the journey and if you feel sorry enough for them, a link to their sponsorship page is below.  Funds are to be split between the RNLI, Sailing for the Disabled and the Hyperbaric Chamber.

http://www.iomtoday.co.im/news/Row-the-Rock-Challenge-gathers.6460197.jp

http://www.justgiving.com/rowtherock

And for all you coach potatoes (yes, that was deliberate…I was talking to Gaff), why not follow all the action (and I use the term loosely, I’ve seen Damo in ‘action’) via our live’ish satellite link which includes tracking information: www.rowtherock.org. 
How can you resist?

August’s Mr and Mrs Money Bags

Can you stop whinging now your bird’s loaded Catlow?

Another Dirty Nomad Reaps what he Sows

A message from Neil Callin:

“Just a quick note to announce the birth of my daughter Amber Lily Callin on 3/8/10 at 14.32 weighing 7lb 4.5oz.
The obligatory ‘head wetting’ will take place in a few weeks after one of our first games.  I will update once I’ve caught up on some sleep and am allowed out to play.”

As ever, heart-felt congratulations from all at Nomads to all in the Callin house-hold. 

Dates for the Diary

30th August : Beach Rugby. Port Erin Beach.
29th August : Nomads Golf Day. Tremendous!  Entries to Watty please.
11th December : Christmas Dinner.  Book early to avoid disappointment.

Good luck to the Row the Rockers. My only advice is avoid upsetting Mrs Widge before the event, lest you want an aggressive horse lurching up out of the surf at you on a wake board!…I know, I know, it makes no sense.  Ask Widge.

FREE Mannifest Tickets

Err….Slight Cock-Up

Those of you who travelled to the Summer Ball on the luxurious coach laid on by Tom de C0ck, will no doubt remember two things of note.  Number one : What a pleasant, friendly and accommodating coach driver we had.  No he wasn’t!  You were pissed!  Number two : The transport was free.  No it wasn’t.  I was pissed!
In my excitement on the evening in question, not only did I wet my trousers like a puppy dog about to go walkies, but I also appear to have been a little remiss and failed to collect the requisite monies to cover the cost of said carriage.  You will remember that the website announcement of the event made mention of the additional funding required, and so….. please cough up.

If you were on the coach for the Presentation Dinner, please can you pay £6 per head to either myself, Loss Paddock, or Tom de C0ck as soon as possible, so that Ginge can stop spinning in his ex-Treasurers grave.  Many thanks.  You will be rewarded in Heaven for your honesty.

Call-to-Arms

This is Little Jimmy Osland’s first event as Nomads Volunteer Coordinator, so please get behind her (oo-err missus).  It’s a thankless task trying to rouse you bunch of foppish ne’er-do-wells into life, so please make an effort to help without having to be dragged, kicking and screaming from your pit.

“Hi guys!

WE NEED YOU!! 

I have been asked to organise some Marshall’s! (15 to be exact).
27th July 2010- Bushy’s Road Race.
Meet at the Bay Port Erin @ 6pm.
You would be needed for approx 1.5hr (ish).
Please confirm back to me asap if you can make it.

I will send a reminder before- Just in case you forget (please get back to me so I know numbers!).
If you need to contact me- 455005 or home 664959.

Also if you know anyone who would like to help, give me a shout!

Thanks!
Little Jimmy (Jules)”

The Law is an Ass

Well not always, but if you wish to make up your own mind, then take a look at the latest changes to the law as it applies to our beautiful game.  I see that the RFU have finally recognised the special needs of the pack, and have thoughtfully provided videos, explaining what would otherwise go over the heads of our esteemed forwards by use of the written word alone.

Enjoy: http://www.rfu.com/TakingPart/Referee/LatestLawUpdates.aspx

Dates for the Diary

27th July : Bushy’s Road Race Marshalling.  Meet at the Bay Port Erin @ 6pm.  You never know, maybe Little Jimmy will give us a rousing chorus of ‘Long Haired Lover…’.
10/11/12 August:  RFU Rugby Camp at KWC.  See website for more details.
15^th August : Port Erin RNLI Raft Races.  Entry form and rules on website.
29^th August : Nomads Golf Day. Tremendous!  Entries to Watty please.
11^th December : Christmas Dinner.  Book early to avoid disappointment.

Oh, and congratulations to our Rookie of the Season, little Dick Seed, who came of age this week and is now permitted to partake of an alcoholic beverage in the Bay after a match.  My my young Dick, I’ll bet you can’t wait to enjoy that experience for the very first time?  You must be moist with anticipation.

There is also an England open training day at Twickers on 11 August.  See ‘Youth Notice Board’ for more details.

3/4 of a bottle of Gordons Gin (1.5 ltr) – £15

You can get T-Bone on stephenbridson@hotmail.com